One of the beauties I follow is on a campaign to restyle herself. I thought I would share that I am doing the same thing!! My wardrobe is full of a lot of pretties, BUT… so many of the dresses are SHORT and I don’t always feel 100% confident wearing them, all because they are designed/ made for girls who happen to be about 5 inches shorter than I am. Midi fit/flare dresses are my new favourite thing, so I am gradually incorporating more into the wardrobe and aiming to phase out the shorter ones. Some will go to the kid who is now the same size as me (almost), others will be passed on.
I want to make my wardrobe full of clothes I feel 100% confident in 100% of the time. This could take a while as I have two double wardrobes, shelves, and 8 drawers of clothes… (also, I am v attached to my pretties)
Coping with a changing body
When you’re recovering from a restrictive eating disorder, it can be one of the hardest things in the world to realise that you are no longer the thinnest person in the room, that your body doesn’t represent the horrible emotions you were (any quite possibly still are) feeling, and it doesn’t physically translate being sick anymore.
The first thing to be aware of is that everyone in recovery has moments, even whole days, when they feel disgusted by their new, bigger body and long for their former smaller one, when however often they recite all the good reasons for regaining weight, and all the things that this process is and represents besides gaining weight none of it has any force against the sheer overwhelming feeling of being uncomfortable and in the wrong body.
One of the only things to do is cling on to those mantras you should have developed for yourself—all the reasons why anorexia made life intolerable, and all the physical and thereby psychological restoration that the higher numbers on the scales or the tape measure represent—and to wait for the awfulness to pass, which it will, as everything does.
1. Acknowledge that weight changes come as part of recovery and are actually a sign that you are getting better. If you prepare yourself for the weight change to come, you won’t suddenly be thrown into shock when it does happen.2. Try not to weigh yourself more frequently than before. Keeping track of your weight to check you are in a healthy weight range is OK, checking obsessively will not help you. If you must, get rid of your own scales and leave it in the hands of professionals to weigh you. Destroying my scale was one of the most liberating things I did for myself on my 17th birthday. I sat down with a screw driver and I hacked and threw and destroyed.
Never done anything better for my body image and recovery!3. Talk to a supportive friend about the way you feel about weight changes. A problem shared is a problem halved.4. Make a list of the things you like about your recovering body. For example, many people with eating disorders find themselves getting warmer and less prone to illness.5. Try not to fight against how your body is changing; embrace the changes. This is a mental attitude, but it’s one (like all mental states, indeed) that can be nurtured through specific actions. For example, don’t keep trying to wear all the same kinds of clothes you used to when you were ill; lots of them won’t suit you any more (though some may now look much better on you), and clinging to the old styles won’t help you move away from your disordered body.6. Place your worth in other things. PROJECT STOP IRRATIONAL THINKING.
You are a human being of value, regardless of your body. It is JUST a body. It’s time to stop measuring our worth based on our body! You’re okay just as you are. You are a unique person, capable and loveable, with special talents and strengths, with inner wisdom, passions, strength, intelligence and creativity – a human being of value. So accept and respect yourself now.Get comfortable with the real you. The you that matters. The you that matters has nothing to do with your body.
Your body is okay. Your size is okay. The good news is that you can change how you feel about your body by changing your self-talk. If you are especially concerned about your weight and body shape, understand that your body has an opinion of what it should weigh at this time in your life. It regulates weight around a setpoint that may be nearly impossible to change. Recognize how destructive the obsession to be thin is. Your weight is not a measure of your self-worth. Accepting this can give you new freedom.
Let go of constant comparison and competition. You don’t need to be or “do” better than anyone else to be a worthwhile person. Just because you are not skinny, does not mean you are worthless.
Keep a gratitude journal. Have you inventoried the richness of your life assets? Try it. Add to that inventory and each day write down three things you are grateful for in your gratitude journal. It can be humbling to realize the abundance of riches we have, and how much we take it for granted. The everyday joys of family, friends, home, community, country, health, work and the wonder of nature are all around us. Contemplating this can bring you deep serenity.
Put weight in its proper perspective and focus on what’s really important in life. Do you want people to remember you for the shape of your body or the shape of your character and soul?
The Beatles owe soooooo much to teenage girls for their success like i’m pretty sure it was teenage girls who were screaming and fainting at shows and buying all those records and not old ponytailed dudes or moody teen boys with bad hair? and somehow everyone forgets that when they’re yelling about “real music” and putting down teen girls for the performers they get excited about. like whatever. I see you.
I’m still laughing at this one line from “tony abbotts leaked itinerary”
*wonders if these international women have visa’s
2:30 am… still editing. this doc is coming together so well. I can’t wait to do the big massive edit of THE ENTIRE thing tomorrow. I know it is repetitive in places, and I managed to get a few things today, but I find it’s easier to do it on paper… then I can compare. Mostly, I’m happy with how the argument is shaping. I am confident I have adequately identified the gaps in the literature, as well as how I intend to address some of them. I am confident I know my shit. Yep, it’s all lookingg good.
I still haven’t named what I am trying to facilitate though. I have managed to name what I am calling Consumer Craftivism (pretty explanatory - craftivism that requires economic capital, is largely created for a white audience, and has a white saviour complex - thus it is exclusionary). The activism I am more interested in however, is that in which the facilitator acts as a kind of conduit - so, I am here to present you with a new way to tell your story, and I will help you in anyway I can. I believe that this is the only way we can start to form an inclusive voice, as the facilitator is not concerned with proving a particular activist point (ie, the fashion industry is fundamentally evil). When the facilitator does this, they begin to see themselves as the one true voice who speaks on behalf of and for the masses (delegation and political fetishism is an interesting read on this form of activism).
I don’t know why I am writing all this here. I guess I am just trying to work through this part so I can get to the part where I can NAME what it is I am aiming to do.